Lets go back in time to the day before. I've been off Twitter for a while now which is usually where I would get my information about current events relating to LGBT issues. I didn't know that the ruling was going to be announced until a friend sent me a text. I'm going to be very honest. I was not excited. At all. No feeling of anxiousness like I had felt in the past. I was like "here we go, another defeat". I didn't want to deal with it. I talked to a couple of people about it, the others as apathetic as I. I went to bed that night with it not even really on my mind.
The next day I woke up and found myself a little more curious about how the day was going to unfold. I knew that Day of Decision II rallies were being scheduled around the country but I had no intention on going to one. Jaded? Probably.
I was at work and started listening to Michaelangelo Signorile on the Outq channel on XM radio. That anxious feeling I had remembered from "the good ol' days" started to appear, although not nearly as strongly as in the past. I found myself listening intently to Michaelangelo. Finally the news broke. Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional and it was overturned. Finally some good news! Twenty-one months to the day since California voters, including my own mother, voted to take my right to marry away, this sickening amendment was overturned.
I was in shock. I didn't know what to think. Every news source was still trying to read the ruling and figure out exactly what that meant? Could we marry again soon? Through the shock I still didn't feel like I had the right to celebrate. I felt relieved but I wasn't joyous. I hadn't worked to make any of this happen, in fact I thought this case was going to set us back. I regret feeling that way now.
I started sending texts and found out people I knew were going to be at the rally in West Hollywood. I made plans to be there.
As I was walking down Santa Monica Blvd. I was sickened. Some of the biggest news to come to LGBT Californian's in years and what do I see? Not thousands of people at the rally. No, they were in the bars having casual conversations. It made me ill. What was their problem? Why weren't there so many people celebrating and trying to figure out what had just happened that they had to close down Santa Monica Blvd.? What is really important here?
I stood there at the rally. I couldn't hear anything. There were people talking behind me and the roar of drunk conversation from the Abby made it almost impossible to hear anything. I could barely hear what Ted Olson had to say. A moment in history was being made right there and all of those people missed it. As much as I dislike Cleve Jones, I admire him for the scene in 'Milk' where he ran in to the bars yelling "Out of the bar and in to the street". That's what I felt like doing, but I know the response would have been very different than it would have been in the 70s. People would have remained there, cocktail in hand.
This morning I was listening to Larry Flick on The Morning Show on Outq. He was taking calls about what had happened yesterday. The more calls he took, the more pissed off he was getting. A majority of the calls were coming from straight allies. I was right there along with him. He was reaffirming what I was feeling last night - the non-activist gay people of this generation simply don't care. They're satisfied with the status quo. I just don't get it.
Do I think I am I perfect? Not in any way.
Do I think I am better than these people because I went to a rally? No, not really.
Do I have a right to be on my virtual soapbox? Maybe. Maybe not.
Do I have a solution to my frustrations? I wish I did.
I am just frustrated and had to let this out before it ate at me and I became more jaded.
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Larry Flick played this song this morning as I was on my way to work & it was so fitting. See the lyrics & video below.
Fight for this Love - Cheryl Cole
Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse (curse)
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt.
Is it better? Is it worse?
Are we sitting in reverse
It's just like we're going backwards. (backwards)
I know where I want this to go
Driving fast but lets go slow
What I don't wanna do is crash nooo.
Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.oh
Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh
Now everyday ain't gon' be no picnic
Love aint a walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark.
Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.
Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh
I don't know where I'm heading
I'm willing and ready to go.
We've been driving so fast
We just need to slow down
And just ro-o-o-o-o-oll.
Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
No matter how hard it gets
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
It's worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh-oh-oh...
How do I tell you what I think of this post without sounding old, glib or like a smart aleck? Moreover, how do I ignore your post - which I cannot do.
ReplyDeletePrimarily I want to tell you that the missing link in your understanding is how rare YOU are. The drinking party crew doesn't even match the oceans of people who are home and don't care.
But what I want to give you, after 40 years at this, is don't waste a second even noticing the non-activists, mourning the cocktail sippers, the ones who just want the pond still with no boats rocking.
You are the gem, the rare one; celebrate you and those you are moving society forward. Every moment you spend on those who do not care is a moment lost.
Thank you for your service, your passion and your honesty.
Zoe
The explosion of social activism during the Civil Rights era is over. Now the conundrum is how to pass on that legacy to the next generation. I love what one of the co-founders of the Greenlining Institute's had to say about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c2rQI8Mfbg That "racism is much more subtle and in some ways, much more evil" than it was in those days. As Lindsay Imai of Urban Habitat says, "We're no longer fighting Jim Crow, we're now fighting the disproportionate incarceration of youth of color."
ReplyDeleteWhat this means in terms of the LGBT movement is that now that discrimination is much more subtle, there is also now a disparity between the LGBT that can live their lives in relative comfort compared to those who feel discrimination acutely. Because we live in the United States and we've gone through the Civil Rights era, most gays don't have to worry about the same things that African-Americans had to go through. There are no separate LGBT restrooms, restaurants and drinking fountains as well as LGBT schools, public places and transportation. At the same time, you have a few LGBT who do feel anti-gay discrimination very acutely. How do you bridge that gap? That is something I've yet to figure out because it fits into a larger problem of only 20% of registered voters voting in the last election this past June. It makes me laugh when people don't feel that they need to participate in their political process and then wonder why corporate lobbyists have so much power with our legislature to enact laws against the people. This is something I've been pondering for some time. Feel free to hit me up on Twitter.com/trunksy if you have some thoughts on how to create some positive change on this.
Additionally, I've been trying to learn more about issues of racial justice and other progressive issues. If you saw in the Greenlining Institute video, the different social issues had a lot more in common with each other during the Civil Rights era and I'm still learning how we can bring those together again in the post-Civil Rights era. If you didn't know, there was a seperate People of Color LGBT rally on Olvera Street from the one in West Hollywood Park. From what I heard of the West Hollywood rally, the only person of color that spoke was the mayor. Everyone else was White besides one of the plaintiffs. It all relates back to power and who has it. In a state that is more than fifty percent made up of minorities, that is a glaring inequality. I'm also learning more about homelessness at the LA Family Housing project tomorrow by doing an art project with the kids there. Am I being mother Teresa for worrying about the poor, the homeless and the marginalized? Not anywhere close to her but I do feel some responsibility to give back with the privilege that I have of being educated here in the US and knowing better. Finding purpose is something many people search for their entire lives.