Where were they?

August 4, 2010 -- This is the day that I will always remember, but maybe not the same way the rest of the country.

Lets go back in time to the day before.  I've been off Twitter for a while now which is usually where I would get my information about current events relating to LGBT issues.  I didn't know that the ruling was going to be announced until a friend sent me a text.  I'm going to be very honest.  I was not excited.  At all.  No feeling of anxiousness like I had felt in the past.  I was like "here we go, another defeat".  I didn't want to deal with it.  I talked to a couple of people about it, the others as apathetic as I.  I went to bed that night with it not even really on my mind. 

The next day I woke up and found myself a little more curious about how the day was going to unfold.  I knew that Day of Decision II rallies were being scheduled around the country but I had no intention on going to one.  Jaded?  Probably. 

I was at work and started listening to Michaelangelo Signorile on the Outq channel on XM radio.  That anxious feeling I had remembered from "the good ol' days" started to appear, although not nearly as strongly as in the past.  I found myself listening intently to Michaelangelo.  Finally the news broke.  Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional and it was overturned.  Finally some good news! Twenty-one months to the day since California voters, including my own mother, voted to take my right to marry away, this sickening amendment was overturned. 

I was in shock.  I didn't know what to think.  Every news source was still trying to read the ruling and figure out exactly what that meant?  Could we marry again soon?  Through the shock I still didn't feel like I had the right to celebrate.  I felt relieved but I wasn't joyous.  I hadn't worked to make any of this happen, in fact I thought this case was going to set us back.  I regret feeling that way now. 

I started sending texts and found out people I knew were going to be at the rally in West Hollywood.  I made plans to be there. 

As I was walking down Santa Monica Blvd. I was sickened.  Some of the biggest news to come to LGBT Californian's in years and what do I see?  Not thousands of people at the rally.  No, they were in the bars having casual conversations.  It made me ill.  What was their problem?  Why weren't there so many people celebrating and trying to figure out what had just happened that they had to close down Santa Monica Blvd.?  What is really important here?

I stood there at the rally.  I couldn't hear anything.  There were people talking behind me and the roar of drunk conversation from the Abby made it almost impossible to hear anything.  I could barely hear what Ted Olson had to say.  A moment in history was being made right there and all of those people missed it.  As much as I dislike Cleve Jones, I admire him for the scene in 'Milk' where he ran in to the bars yelling "Out of the bar and in to the street".  That's what I felt like doing, but I know the response would have been very different than it would have been in the 70s.  People would have remained there, cocktail in hand.

This morning I was listening to Larry Flick on The Morning Show on Outq.  He was taking calls about what had happened yesterday.  The more calls he took, the more pissed off he was getting.  A majority of the calls were coming from straight allies.  I was right there along with him.  He was reaffirming what I was feeling last night - the non-activist gay people of this generation simply don't care.  They're satisfied with the status quo.  I just don't get it.

Do I think I am I perfect?  Not in any way.
Do I think I am better than these people because I went to a rally?  No, not really.
Do I have a right to be on my virtual soapbox?  Maybe.  Maybe not.
Do I have a solution to my frustrations?  I wish I did.

I am just frustrated and had to let this out before it ate at me and I became more jaded.

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Larry Flick played this song this morning as I was on my way to work & it was so fitting.  See the lyrics & video below.

Fight for this Love - Cheryl Cole

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse (curse)
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt.


Is it better? Is it worse?
Are we sitting in reverse
It's just like we're going backwards. (backwards)


I know where I want this to go
Driving fast but lets go slow
What I don't wanna do is crash nooo.


Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.oh


Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.


We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh


Now everyday ain't gon' be no picnic
Love aint a walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark.


Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.


Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.


We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh


I don't know where I'm heading
I'm willing and ready to go.
We've been driving so fast
We just need to slow down
And just ro-o-o-o-o-oll.


Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.


We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
No matter how hard it gets
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh


We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
It's worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh-oh-oh...

Where has it gone?

Just a little bit ago I was going through the favorites I had saved on my YouTube channel and came across this one.  It's one of my favorites by Sean Chapin.  Take a couple of minutes to watch it.  Go ahead, I'll wait.






Every time I watch this video I tear up though today I teared up for a different reason.  I started to reflect back to this time last year when there was so much passion within the LGBT community and there REALLY was a sense of community.  As horrible as Prop 8 was, it brought us together.  We had a common cause we were fighting for.  We were pissed & we were letting people know about it!  There were marches, there were rallys, and people were in the streets.

Fast forward not even a year.  It seems as though the community has once again disbanded.  Sure, we have this group doing their thing, and that group doing something else, and then we have the groups that no longer exist.  For the most part we have lost the fire that was ignited by Prop 8.  Again, we have grown complacent, comfortable, busy and retreated back in to our gay ghettos, our bars, our clubs and our own little cliques.

What is going to have to be taken from us next before we come together again?  And how long until we slip back in to the same complacency that we're currently in?  Why aren't there more groups like GetEQUAL and Queer Rising causing a rukus?  What would happen if the government started targeting the gay bars and shutting them down?  I bet that would get some pissed off queers in to the streets.  Just sayin'.

Anyway, this post is probably all over the place because that is where my head is right now.  I just had to get this out in some form.

I hope someone will read this and decide that they need to be involved in some way instead of just trying to go about their daily lives.

Show me some fucking passion again!

The Queervolution has begun

November, 2008 -- People took to the streets. Prop 8 had passed in California and people were pissed. There were marches, rally's, protests & candle light vigils.

May, 2009 -- Thousands converged in the Central California for Meet in the Middle 4 Equality after the Supreme Court upheld Prop 8. Some marched 14 miles, some just came for the rally in downtown Fresno. Either way, they were there to let their voices be heard. WE ARE EQUAL!

October, 2009 -- 250,000 people traveled across this country to Washington, DC for the National Equality March.

April 18, 2010 -- The Queervolution began.

This time it feels different. GetEQUAL did something. Something unexpected. Something radical.

I knew something was going to be happening on Tuesday, but I had no idea what. I woke up and started getting ready for work. I was reading through Tweets from the night before and I came across a Tweet my friend Sam in DC sent. She said "Queermageddon Approaches".

If you know anything about me, you know that I'm a worrier. More so about the people I care about than myself. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I Sam's words left me with a knot in my stomach. I hadn't been following Twitter for the past 4 months, since I'd moved to Long Beach. Let me tell you, I was glued to it on Thursday & haven't kept my eye off it since.

The day in DC started with the rally that Kathy Griffin was having about "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". I have my own feelings about this "rally" but I'll leave them to myself (for the time being). Dan Choi, who for months has bee the "face" of DADT, was not going to be allowed to speak. Robin, being Robin, was able to get him on stage. After he spoke, he lead 150 people to the White House. That's when things started getting interesting.

First, Robin was arrested for helping chain Lt. Dan Choi to the fence of the White House as they protested "Don't ask, Don't Tell". Then Dan & Capt. Jim Pietrangelo were cut down and arrested. Following all of this, 5 people went to Nancy Pelosi's office in DC for a sit in. At the same time, there was a group from GetEQUAL that also occupied Pelosi's office in San Francisco. My "adopted brother", Kip, was in SF.

I sat back watching all of this unfold. I was commenting as I could (which was a lot that day). People were sending me condolence messages for my friends being arrested. I told them not to be sorry, I wasn't sorry in the least bit. It felt almost like I was a proud father. My heart was so full, and still is. There around words to describe how lucky I feel to know this RAD people.

That night in LA I had a meet-up with a couple of friends so we could catch up and get all of the details of the day. For some reason I felt the need to make tee-shirts for the night. The 3 of us sat there, wearing our "Free McGehee" tee-shirts waiting for the calls to come in. (One of us may have been wearing "Free McGehee" underwear). Everyone, but Dan & Jim were released that day. Robin, the first one arrested, was released on a $35 bail.

The next day Dan & Jim had their trial. Once again I was on cloud 9 when they both plead "not guilty". They go back to court next month.

"WE WILL NOT ADMIT GUILT in our fight for equality"

Once again I sat there in amazement. The only thing that I will agree with Kathy Griffin on this week is "these guys have balls".

I've said all of that to say this: Things are changing. People are fed up and ready to GetEQUAL. It's time to create a ruckus. Some people may not agree. I have always found that the squeaky wheel is the one that gets the grease. It's about fucking time that people start making some noise & the folks at GetEQUAL are just the people to do it. I have seen these people so some amazing things over the past year. But, guess what, they're just getting started! [evil laugh]

They have my full support, do they have yours? Head over to http://www.getequal.org to find out more information and get on their mailing list.

Me with the two most RAD people I know, Kip Williams & Robin McGehee